Last Updated on April 2, 2019 by Emma White
I had been having problems with my periods from the age of 14. I experienced weight gain and when I say weight gain, I mean I put on just over 7 stones in a period of 12 months.
At the age of 17, I suffered from a miscarriage.
I had seen several doctors, had scans and various tests over the years. I was finally diagnosed with the polycystic ovarian syndrome.
I was not over that shocked or worried as I knew my own mother suffered from this too.
The biggest shock and the sheer realization of how bad this has happened when the doctors explained my ovaries were covered in cysts and this would affect my chance of conceiving.
Polycystic ovarian syndrome and pregnancy do not always agree as I was about to find out.
The main worry was that any child I did manage to conceive would most likely end in miscarriage. I.V.F. was an option although not guaranteed.
Despite being only 18 and already been a victim of miscarriage, I was not planning on having any children yet but knowing that I may never carry a child hurt and worried me.
What if I wanted children in the future?
I suddenly felt like a freak, I would not be able to do the most natural thing in the world.
I tried to put the negative aspect of the polycystic ovarian syndrome and pregnancy problems to the back of mind and I concentrated on managing the symptoms instead.
I was given the pill and despite already trying a variety of different ones, this one made me worse. I had spoken to others who suffered from P.C.O.S. (Polycystic ovarian syndrome) and they agreed that the pill only masked over the symptoms, it did not manage them.
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I was then given Metformin (used to help diabetes sufferers) to try. The idea was that the Metformin would help control the overproduced insulin that many PCOS sufferers produce, which would be able to help my periods.
The side effects of Metformin were severe stomach cramps and diarrhea, so those were soon stopped.
There was a final option to try, surgery.
The surgeon would drill my ovaries in the hope that this would force them to start working. There was no guarantee to this working and the whole idea terrified me if truth be known.
I had to learn to accept that polycystic ovarian syndrome was a part of my life and was not going anywhere. I just had to make the best of it.
I was sat looking through photographs one afternoon when I felt repulsed. It was a picture of me taking previously at a 60th birthday party for my grandmother. I looked disgusting. I was overweight and looked a mess.
It was then I decided to lose weight and start looking after myself.
I signed up to weight watchers and I joined the gym and within 18 months I had lost over 6 stone. I felt amazing and more amazingly my periods began to return, more regular than ever. I felt like a new woman.
The polycystic ovarian syndrome and pregnancy talk came when I met my partner
We fell in love and the relationship moved quickly. I explained that because of PCOS I would have major problems having a baby. He wasn’t worried and shrugged it off; we would cross that bridge as when needed.
I was finally living my life, happy with my weight and in love, when I missed my period 4 months into the relationship I didn’t worry, why would I? There was no possible way I would fall pregnant.
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The pregnancy test told me otherwise, I was pregnant.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
We had not used contraception as the polycystic ovarian syndrome and pregnancy issues were always known, I was never going to fall pregnant.
Then I felt guilty, I had only known my partner 4 months and neither wanted to actually have a baby together, just yet.
Thankfully he was amazing and he promised to support me, despite it being a shock, to us both.
In the first 12 weeks of the pregnancy I suffered three bleeds, but after that, I had no problems at all and I sailed through the pregnancy and finally giving birth to a healthy baby boy, on Friday the 13th of all days.
After having him I struggled to lose the 4 stone weight gain and my periods had stopped again. I began to struggle and was diagnosed with postnatal depression.
I guess things had happened so fast, the symptoms and worry of polycystic ovarian syndrome and pregnancy alone had changed so many things for me.
I waited until he was 6 months before trying again to shift the pounds. Within 12 months I had shed 3 stone. Again after losing the weight my periods, as if by magic returned and again I started to feel more human.
In 2010 I was delighted but afraid to find we were pregnant again, again we had not tried and despite knowing the odds were stacked against us, we had used contraception, knowing there was a slight chance we could become pregnant.
Postnatal depression was making me feel lousy and I was taking antidepressants. I was waiting for a referral to come through to see a counselor and it just didn’t seem like the right time to have another baby. My partner and I were arguing and the relationship was under strain.
