I once knew a woman who suffered horrendous treatment at the hands of the man she loved. I still to this day do not have the answers to why she stayed for almost 11 years with this vile man.
She had 3 children with this man. Each time she thought a baby would change him, calm him down, make him love her. Stop him doing all the things he did. It never did.
She lived walking on egg shells
Feared the outside world
Feared what would happen to her children
This young woman spent each day wondering if it would be her last
This woman was tortured at the hands of the very person who told her he loved her
She was too afraid to leave
He told her he would burn down the house while she and her children slept if she did ever leave
He told her nobody else would ever want her
He told her if she ever told she would never see her children again
He told her she was useless, fat and ugly, she believed him. She began starving herself of food. She wanted to please him, make him love her again. She developed an eating disorder. She lost 3 stone. She weighed 6 stone. He still told her she was fat.
She knew she had to leave.
Either he would kill her or she had to kill him.
This young woman was subjected to acts of mental abuse that no words could ever describe.
This young woman carried this secret, hid it well. She put on a smile to the outside world. She dedicated her life to protecting her children. She did everything in her power to make him happy.
She had 2 nervous breakdowns, lived a life of depression, thought of taking her own life so many times.
One day this man threw her 3 year old son across the room.
The following morning when he left for work she phoned Social Services. She walked into the GP surgery and asked to speak to her Health Visitor.
That day she had the locks on the doors changed. That day he never stepped foot inside the family home again.
That day she broke into pieces – she had allowed her child to be hurt. She would spend the rest of her life living with this guilt.
This young woman gave up her career, gave up her home and moved the children back to her home town.
This young women left that man 5 years ago.
This young woman still carries the mental scars that domestic violence inflicted upon her. She now has to see mental health workers to help her live in the real world, as abuse was all she knew.
This young woman now dedicates her time helping other women who are victims of domestic abuse. Yet she still blames herself daily for allowing her children to be part of something so damaging.
How do I know so much about this young women?
This woman is me!
If you are a victim of domestic violence and do not know where to turn, please get in touch.