“I scratch myself” one mum told me when I asked if any of the mums on my Facebook group would like to share their anonymous real life story.
Its the first time I have come across someone I know who scratches, so I was intrigued to learn more.
Is scratching yourself considered cutting? Yes it is says Wiki, It’s self mutilation and it’s a psychological disorder.
People that scratch or cut themselves do so because they just want to feel emotions (even pain) because their daily lives are usually depressed and they are void of feeling.
One Mums Story; I Scratch Myself To Cope
We all get nervous and scared right? How do you cope when you become frightened? Me personally, I scratch. Yes that’s right, I scratch myself, it’s the way I cope.
This is not just a little scratch. I scratch myself until my skin bleeds.
I scratch my legs, my hands and my arms mainly.
I can hide my legs under leggings in the colder months. In the warmer months I wear black tights. It’s the same with tops; I scratch areas of my skin that I know can be easily hidden.
Due to the fact that it is so easy to hide my legs these are the first place I scratch.
Not until every inch is covered in marks do I go for my arms and hands.
I do get the odd funny look sometimes if my arms are scratched. I guess it looks like I’ve been fighting or struggling. I haven’t, it’s just my weird habit.
I want to scream at them and tell them to stop staring. It makes me want to scratch more.
Why do I do it?
Why do I scratch myself?
I honestly do not know.
I have done it for as long as I can remember now.
I have tried to stop myself but I can’t. The harder I try not to the more I do it.
I’ve been to the doctors about it because it got that bad. He just gave me a funny look and sent me off with a prescription for some cream.
In my last pregnancy I had to have special antiseptic creams because I’ve scratched myself so badly I had an infection in my leg.
I was terrified I was going to lose my baby, I couldn’t feel her moving from around 32 weeks and this made me ever so scared, I scratched almost constantly.
They tested me for Obstetric Cholestasis (OC) which of course I didn’t have.
It was just me, scratching away.
Thankfully my baby was fine and is now a happy and healthy baby but if she or her siblings so much as snuffle I get scared they’re going to get ill. This causes me to scratch.
I hate doing it but it’s like a compulsion like an addiction even.
It’s a constant circle. I get nervous, I scratch. I try to stop, I scratch more.
I scratch myself and can’t stop.
Does anyone else do this? Can you relate to me?
This inspiring post was written anonymously and submitted to me to share here on the blog with the hope that by sharing their own experiences they will go onto help others. Why not share your own story or blog anonymously with us?